The Power is in Your Hands!

On Friday 22nd of May, Ireland, as a nation, is being asked one simple question. Should same sex marriage be legalised. Any of you who are connected with me on Facebook or who I’ve talked to over the past few months will know that I stand very much on the yes side of the campaign.

In essence, whether the referendum passes or not makes little difference to me or to my future. Why should it? Regardless of a yes vote, because I’m heterosexual the state doesn’t feel the need to debate my right to make a lawful commitment to the person of my choosing.

But to lots of people on our little island a tick in the yes box means the absolute world. As the Yes campaign has rightly stated, this vote is an act of acceptance for our friends, our brothers, our sisters, our sons and our daughters.

For me, it’s my brother and I’ve asked him to write the rest of the blog instead of me because really this vote affects him a lot more than me.

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In a little less than three more days, this referendum will be over one way or the other. At this moment in time that is the only thing we are certain of. I’m sure, like me, you can’t wait. Personally, it’s been a strange few months, watching the campaign from afar, listening to non-Irish perspectives, hearing about the posters and all the campaigns against the proposition.

Thankfully, I don’t have sob story for you (I know others aren’t as lucky). I’m just Gavin, brother of Hubert, Dermot and Anita, brought up by the same parents in the same home, attending the same schools, lived in the same community, drink in the same pubs with the same friends. Sometimes I’m too quiet and sometimes I’m too loud (Usually when I’ve had a few to many).  I just happen to be gay.

And that’s how I’ve always been treated, as Gavin. Being gay has never been an issue in Cavan, Dublin or anywhere I’ve travelled. Personally, I have never been treated any differently anywhere, never even hearing a negative comment.

But in the eyes of the law I am different. You now have the power to change that. A no vote would be the worst negative comment imaginable. A no vote would be devastating for me and for my many gay friends and our families.

On Friday you have the power to decide whether one day I can get married.It’s a simple as that. Nothing else will change, the sky will not fall! For some of the people reading this I will have been a very happy guest at their wedding but now you get to decide not only if you will attend my wedding in future but if I even get the option to have a wedding and be married in the eyes of the law at all. Sounds strange doesn’t it, you get to decide whether I have the right to get married?

In my view the Irish people are the greatest people on earth (Yes, I’m biased!). We pride ourselves on our spirit of generosity and I hope this generosity will be shown again on Friday.

I will travel home to Cavan and to my old National School (Greaghrahan NS) along with my family members to cast my yes vote. This is my personal plea to you to please make the effort to go out and vote and vote yes. Never before will a vote you cast have such a direct and immediate impact on one of your friends.

I’m asking for you to please be generous! Vote for me.

Thank you

Gavin

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Get your polling cards and your ID and pop into your local polling station on Friday. For the effort it takes to put a small tick in a box, you will get to determine the future of so many people around you.

If this vote passes, then Ireland will be the first country to have passed the deed by ballot.

The first country to vote for equality.

I’m getting married!!

After battling with Tinder and relentless terrible first dates, I’ve decided to bite the bullet and take the plunge. Married life awaits. At the age of 24 and with virtually no financial security of life stability I’ve decided that now is the time for me to have children. Marriage is in the eyes of the law an act of love and hopefully I’ll grow to love my spouse or at least tolerate him. But much more than this, marriage is a state of legal protection for the family and as a straight female adult this is something that I am legally entitled to so long as I have a consenting partner.

After marriage, we’ll have children. How many? Who knows!? We’ll probably have a civil ceremony but in the eyes of the law we’ll be married so that’s good enough for me.

So boys come get me when I’m hot-ish (in low lighting!). For your chance to give up the dating rat race apply here:http://form.jotformeu.com/form/51003715014337

See, who says we need to waste our lives swiping right in order to find our prince charming?

In truth, it’s unlikely that I will pick my future spouse, the father to my future children via a webform (But don’t let that put you off boys – I’m awesome at awkward first dates) but should this lunatic idea work and I do fall head over heels in love then one day we’ll sign the dotted line and become legally bound to eachother which a scary and huge commitment. Then if we proceed with the fairytale, we’ll have children and watch our children follow in our footsteps.

But what if our future son or daughter finds themselves falling in love with someone of the same sex. What if they want to share their love with children and create their own family unit? Could it be that the country of Ireland would stand in their way?

Now some might argue that marriage is an act which is blessed by the church and that civil partnership which was introduced in Ireland in 2010 is enough for “the gays” but that’s really not the case. Nobody is asking for the Catholic church to start to start draping the rainbow flag on the cross or for the archbishop to lead the Dublin pride parade what they are asking is for their union in marriage to be equal to that of man and woman.Civil partnership although a step in the right direction still leaves a huge chasm between the rights and protections of same sex families and those who are joint in marriage.

Ireland has seen huge change in the last 20 to 30 years and it’s about time that as a nation we caught up with what is happening before our very eyes. From poverty to the boom of the Celtic Tiger to the recession and the mass emigration of the countries youth and it’s about time that we caught up with the modern ages, remove the blinkers and see the world in full HD.

As one of the hundreds of thousands of people who have left the green and lovely shores of Ireland in hope of building a better life, I often get asked about my plans to move back and I always say that one day if I have children I would love to go back and for my children to have a similar upbringing to what I had. To me, that would be the perfect fairytale ending but the current marriage equality debate has made me rethink my answer, What if one of my children is gay? Would they be forced to leave their home, their family, their country just to have the right to live out their own happily ever after? There’s a huge social media campaign at the moment called Send Love Home. There are millions of Irish emigrants and descendants all over the world who are supporting marriage equality in the hope that Ireland will share the love that we hold for it.

Facebook is alight with videos and support campaigns from #RingYourGranny, YesEquality to simple profile stickers which pledge your support but unless we actually take to the polls and put our mark in the little yes box then clogging up our news feeds is utterly pointless. Young people of Ireland it has never been more imporatnat for you vote. Vote for your brothers, your sisters, your children and future grandchildren.

Vote for an Ireland that some day I’ll be proud to come home to and have a home of my own.

Remember in order to vote you need to be on the electoral register and time is running out. Registration closes on the 5th of May! In order to register your vote just fill out this simple form: https://www.checktheregister.ie/appforms/RFA2_English_Form.pdf or if you’re not sure whether you are registered or not you can even check using Facebook https://www.facebook.com/referendumcommission/timeline

Could you live with yourself if you didn’t support it?

Irish Romance

My first blog post of 2015! And more importantly (or amazingly) my first post where the subject has agreed to let me write about him!!!

He should note at this juncture that I have saved all proof of permission , should he change his mind and attempt to take legal action against me. Also to save his blushes, I won’t be using his real name.

Daryl* was a completely forgotten about Tinder match from a few months back. We had sent eachother a few messages but nothing had come off it so I was pretty surprised when his name flashed up on my phone at the beginning of December. Another Irish man, we seemed pretty at ease with eachother so I didn’t hesitate when he suggested that we meet for a drink.

We met on a Friday night for a few drinks and he was great. Hoorah! Could this be a Tinder success? I wasn’t sure but I decided to take a gamble and invite him to my house-warming party the very next night. So on day two, he met some of my nearest and dearest and despite his nerves he was a big hit with my friends.

Unfortunately though, I wasn’t so sure. Yes, Daryl was great and hadn’t put a foot wrong but I just didn’t look at him as a potential BF , more like a friend or even a brother! Yes, I know I’m an idiot! So just before Christmas Daryl got relegated to the friend-zone – yes, I’m the villain of this piece.

Daryl, to give him his dues, took the news well. He told me that he respected my decision and that he hoped to change my mind – basically adding to my compounding guilt.

Over the next few weeks, Daryl tried to change my mind. There was just one small problem. Irish men are not all that great at romance. Don’t get me wrong, Irish men are great. They are probably the funniest in the world but when it comes to romance they can be a little off the mark.

To win my affections, Daryl tried his hand at poetry. Now a normal guys attempt at poetry looks like this:

“And in her eyes I see something more beautiful than the stars.” – Beth Revis

or

“I knew the second I met you that there was something.

Something about you I needed.

Turnes out it wasn’t something about you at all.

It was you” – Jamie McGuire (No relation)

Poetry from a Sligo man looks dramatically different but I do have to commend Daryl for his efforts. So on New Years Eve I woke up to five verses of “Irish romance.” It went like this:

So I’ve landed at home and I’ve mentioned your name,

And you never will know what I’ve said all to them

That I don’t often wreck on to the lads all at home,

That someone has actually grabbed me by the whole.

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So this isn’t me saying that I’m falling for you

Nor will I propose to that fourth date real soon,

but damn it I’m not a real man to hold back,

and forgive me to say that I’ll never be slack.

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I’m all in for the trying for the spark you can’t see,

for the thing that’s so obviously clearly for me.

You crave someone special ,

not many possess,

but give me the chance to really progress.

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I’m lying and wonder if I can be a good friend,

but all I really want is to be your boyfriend.

Now Neeta, or whatever your name is for short.

will you try, and please see,

that I am a good sort.

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I never do write something cheesy like this,

but I desperately wonder if we can actually dismiss,

the potential of something you clearly cant see

is that I should be with you,

and you should be with me.

Needless to say, upon reading this WhatsApp masterpiece, I went weak at the knees. I literally fell down laughing.

W.B Yeats remains the only great poet to hail from Sligo. And Daryl remains securely in the friendzone.

Homeward bound….

Tomorrow, I will touch down on Irish soil, get a hug from my mother at the airport and enjoy what Irish people do best…Swearing! After five months of enduring british political corectness, without a visit home for respite, this is much needed. There is no better feeling of comfort than being in a room full of people who are on the same wavelength and who you can completely be yourself around without judgement.

However time is of the essence and with just over a week until the London2Brighton challenge , I have to combine catching up with friends and family with some training. So Niamh has agreed to be my training buddy and on Friday we will set off on the 30km round trip to Glan. Nestled at the top of the Cuilcagh mountains, Glan is a tiny untouched rural village. It is also home to my Granny. Now the thought of an Irish Granny conjurs images of freshly baked bread and plump cardigan clad women knitting blankets and reading the Irelands Own with a cup of tea. This is not my Granny. My granny, who is in the latter end of her 80’s, is a lean, spritely lady with a sharp tongue and a naughty habit of giggling uncontrollably at inappropriate times. Since seeing her at Christmas she has spent the majority of her time in hospital, even undergoing open heart surgery which would be unthinkable for anyone else of her age. But, not being one to adhere to the “norm” Granny is now back where she is happiest with Noddy the cat.

Saturday will see my nephew and Godson, Jason, receive his First Holy Communion. All of the family will gather to celebrate the latest milestone is his life. Whilst the party gathers momentum, with beer and wine flowing I will be employing all of my self restrainst to not join them with a beer or two. 

By Sunday It will be time to come back to London and knuckle down for the week. Rest and recooperate and get ready for the biggest challenge of my life!